How to Score a #1 Hit on the Radio (Music Monday)
It’s been a great but short trip back to California. We’ve been driving around everywhere which means that the radio is on non-stop and we’re able to get a feel for what’s on-and-poppin’ nowadays. I’ve been realizing a few trends amongst all the popular and over-played tunes and I think I figured out a formula for success.
Here’s how to get a #1 hit on the radio:
1. Autotune – yup, this is the single most important element and hands down, the most overused. I think there’s a rule now in the industry that requires you to have auto-tune in your record or it simply won’t get played. There’s a little bit of a problem with this, in my opinion, because even terrible singers can suddenly release hits. I can’t help but equate the auto-tune with cheating. They are like really annoying steroids– except their use in this case benefits nobody. T-Pain, this is all your fault.
2. Rihanna sings your hook– remember that kid in your class that would raise their hand for everything? Who wants to be hall monitor? “Oh, ME!” Who wants to erase the chalk board? “Oh, ME!” What is the theory of relativity? “I know!” Who wants to kiss my butt? “Yes, ME!” Well, that person on the radio right now is Rihanna. She’s EVERYWHERE. She has her own songs but she’s also singing everyone’s chorus. OK… maybe it’s just that one Eminem chorus but still, it seems she’s everywhere. Basically, get her on your song and you’ve got yourself a hit.
3. Think of the most simple, redundant thing to say – and make that your chorus. I promise you that 98% of the songs out there would be booed off local open mic nights if they were ever shared in spoken word form. That’s how shallow, redundant and un-artistic a lot of these songs are. Lyrical content counts for very little these days and it’s all about . . .
4. A killer beat – it doesn’t matter what your song is talking about as long as the beat can get people to shake their hips, bob their heads, and make children. After all, that’s what really sells and that’s how the Black Eyed Peas have made a living for the past decade.
I know this is not a comprehensive breakdown so i could use your help. What am I missing?