MUSIC, LEADERSHIP, CULTURE… and humor (sometimes)

men, if we could do just one thing right . . .

a common theme has peaked my senses these past few days and i felt like i needed to get this out there in case it means something to somebody.

something is happening to me in a weird but hopefully good way. i’ve secretly cried over conversations or written reflections regarding fathers and father figures and  i can’t explain why i’ve suddenly become so vulnerable to emotion.

I think it is mainly because I have become a father myself as of November ’08 and I can’t bear the thought of my son growing up without me. I love my little boy so much that to even hypothesize over a day when there’s distance between us is enough to ruin me.

It is not a far-fetched assumption to say that many of our societal ills can be traced back to longstanding “daddy wounds”— the number one unofficial cause of emotional death in human beings–and it just breaks my heart.

most of us men have or will have the privilege of being a father one day and i hope that if and when we have kids, we will do all that we can to let our kids know and believe that they are loved, beautiful, and capable of anything, because this is true.

there are many things that i will fail at and be ok with (eventually) but i will never tolerate within myself a failure at being a father to my children.  i’m not declaring that I’ll be perfect and without blemish but I am saying that I won’t and can’t give up being the best possible father i can be.  it is the one thing I want to do right.

men, let’s raise up a generation of up-and-coming fathers who will then respond to the same call and raise up the next generation of fathers.  the cycle of “daddy wounds” can end today.

(note: too young to be a dad?  various circumstances prohibiting fatherhood?  we can all be a father figure to someone when we choose to impart, empower, and invest.)

i leave you with one of my favorite pictures of me and my boy.  i’d say it’s symbolism.


2 responses

  1. pongtastic

    dang daddy kim…why you got bust this out like that? the father wound conversation is always an emotional one. even if ones dad was great or even if ones dad was bad…it strikes emotional chords nonetheless.

    that’s the greatest task we have, to be fathers to our sons/daughters and to the fatherless as well.

    keep being padre DK

    July 20, 2010 at 2:56 pm

  2. Anonymous

    i had a visit with a client today, a mother actually, who’s had her daughter in care for 11 years. her daughter is 11 y/o. when we left the shelter where the mom was living the daughter turned back and said, “she’s crying!” it dawned on me that this girl will have “mommy-wounds” not to mention “no-daddy-wounds”. may God be our ultimate loving Father in this fallen world.

    July 20, 2010 at 9:06 pm

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