Updated American Idol Power Rankings (Country Shakes Things Up!)
So it looks like I’ll try to update this weekly after every Tuesday show. Thanks for keeping up with this and leaving your thoughts and making this a group effort of sorts! You may want to take a look at my first round of power rankings to get a better idea of what this is about.
This show was very interesting, was it not? First of all, the Country (Grand Ol Oprey) genre really jacked a few people up to the point that their standing has been affected (some really badly) in this week’s rankings. I still feel that last week’s rankings should be the true order of rank in the ideal world but since we’re a not part of that galaxy, the rankings are what they are today. Secondly, did anyone else notice that Randy Travis’ takes on the contestants all started with something to the effect of “when so-and-so first told me they were going to sing this song, I had my doubts… but then they started singing it and I was blown away. I think this will be their best performance yet…” No joke! Go back to your DVRs and listen to him do this for virtually all 11 contestants! It’s sort of like that one Chinese judge on the recent world-dance show who would give everyone a “bbah… EIGHT!” score, every time! Lastly, if I had to rank the judges in order of best performance to worst, I’d go with 1) Simon, 2) Randy, 3) Kara, and 997) Paula. Seriously, somebody get Paula out of there… please. She contributes nothing to the show except the constant on-screen bickering with Simon (who dogs on her every bumbling word), and a false sense of “you did great” to every bad performance. She is on crack cocaine and needs to go to rehab. Thank God for DVR so that I can skip all of her empty, awkward, uncomfortable, stuttering, and heartless comments. Phew… I really needed to get that out of my system… thanks.
Well, without further ado, I’ll dive into the updated rankings, starting with this week’s #1 all the way down to #11 (with farewells to 12 and 13). Keep in mind, these rankings are more cumulative and not so much based on this week’s performances, although they were taken into full account and some have fallen (or risen) mightily. I’m interested to hear your takes as well.
Here’s the top 11:
1. Matt Giraud (previous rank: 1)
What can I say? Matt made me look really smart for ranking him #1 by delivering the best performance of the night! Also, remember what I said about how you should pay attention to who the producers have go last in the show? Matt Giraud was the appropriate closer to a rather shaky show and helped end the night on a high note. He has arguably been the most underrated front-runner in this show but he is about to start getting the recognition as well as the votes that he deserves. I’m getting excited about his future album– it’s going to be a mix of Justin Timberlake, One Republic, and Michael Buble (only because he sort of looks like him too).
2. Danny Gokey (previous rank: 3)
Ok, so I don’t know what’s more impressive… Danny’s weekly soulful vocal offerings or the fact that he owns 1,849,049 pairs of glasses. Seriously, he is to designer frames what John Mayer is to guitars. My question for him is, how does he afford all of them? Isn’t he a church music director? Am I not also a church music director? How am I not swimming in designer eye-wear? At any rate, Danny gave us what we expect of him every week which is a consistent, dependable performance.
3. Anoop Desai (previous rank: 5)
Anoop Dawg in da house! My boy really impressed me with a great vocal and he delivered what most of us outside of the Michael Sarver (and Toby Keith)-lovin’ Mid-West knew he was capable of… this boy is legit! There are many tonight who were inspired to put down their TI-85’s and flasks in order to hit the karaoke bars with hopes of emulating their new idol’s vocal prowess. Way to be a role-model for those trapped in academia, Anoop!
4. Adam Lambert (previous rank: 4)
If you were not creeped out by Adam’s performance tonight, you are A) Marilyn Manson, B) Tim Burton, C) an employee at Hot Topic, or D) both deaf and blind. That was the worst (and scariest) rendition of “Ring of Fire” ever and along with his over-the-top sultry theatrics, I’m sure he caused Johnny Cash to thr0w up in his grave. Yes, Adam is a GREAT singer and yes, he has charisma but my fear that his ridiculous range could be his crutch is becoming a reality. As Simon would put it, his performance was “indulgent nonsense” and I think Adam enjoyed it more than anyone else. Adam will probably finish somewhere in the top 3 and could still win it all, but you seriously have to wonder what his album would be like. Would you really buy it?
5. Allison Iraheta (previous rank: 7)
Allison is surprising me week after week and after tonight’s performance, she not only climbs into the top-5 overall, but she happens to be the top female as well. Part of this is due to the fact the other female vocalists tanked, but still, Allison was great. Her poise and vocal maturity at the age of 16 is mind-boggling and one can only assume that she will only get better. She is still weird, though.
6. Alexis Grace (previous rank: 2)
Alexis has taken the hardest hit this week and has virtually fallen out of (excuse the lame pun) grace based on a very lackluster performance. The Country genre really jacked her up and now she is at the mercy of the voting public. I really hope she comes back (and I believe she will) because she could still take this thing. The thing that worries me a little bit is that she seemed a little desperate and a bit defensive during the judges critiques of her. She needs to chill and come back with a vengeance next week or she’s in trouble! I’m ready to put her back in the top 3 but she needs to deliver in a big way!
7. Kris Allen (previous rank: 9)
Kris deserves to be higher, especially based on a really good performance but 1) he still looks like a chimpanzee and 2) who would you put him ahead of? He chose the wrong season to compete in because there are too many dominant guys this year. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sticks around a while, though, especially because it seems the girls are diggin’ him. I guess they have a thing for boys who look like primates.
8. Megan Corkrey (previous rank: 8 )
Back in his heyday, Michael Jordan had a legendary game where he was battling the flu but somehow managed to score 55 points. While Megan’s performance wasn’t that inspiring and dramatic, she did manage to do a more than decent job with her tune, despite being sick. . . allegedly. She still needs to learn how to move on stage a little better because everything she does with her arms is a bit spazzy (I’ve been told that I’m this way as well) but I think as long as she picks the songs that are right for her voice, she’ll do ok. Since the girls in general were weak this week, I wouldn’t be surprised if Megan gained ground in America’s collective AI standings.
9. Lil Rounds (previous rank: 6)
You gotta love that Simon thought Lil’s name was short for “little”. Shows how much those Brits really know, eh! I never thought I’d put Lil this low in my PR but I think she took the biggest hit out of all the front-runners in this competition and for that reason alone, I hate country music. Ok, Carrie Underwood is pretty awesome, but that’s it. For the first time this season, I felt nervous for Lil and you could tell that she was completely out of her element. Asking a black person to sing country is probably like forcing them to play ice hockey–It can be done but it will be really awkward and uncomfortable… for everyone involved.
10. Michael Sarver (previous rank: 12)
Michael had a field day and was clearly in his element, however, he still stinks (or maybe I just don’t like him). I have a nagging suspicion that yesterday’s performance was his ceiling and that proves my point that he doesn’t belong. Who keeps voting for this guy? Also, is it wrong of me to assume that it’s the overly-patriotic midwest that’s doing the rest of America a disservice? As it stands, there are 9 people who are better than him. If I came across a magic lamp today and the genie granted me 3 wishes, I think I may waste (or invest) a wish on replacing Michael with Jamar while kicking Scott off at the same time. . .
11. Scott MacIntyre (previous rank: 13)
Am I taking crazy pills? Am I missing the point of this competition? It is a singing competition, is it not? Then someone tell me why Scott is still in this thing! If this was a show on fruitless charity or “Let’s Patronize Someone and Feed Him Lies,” then Scott belongs. I’m not a heartless person but it’s clear that the only reason Scott is still in this show is because the judges have an unhealthy need to show America that they have compassion, but man, please spend that energy to adopt a child or give your millions toward the AIDS crisis in Africa! Scott, you’re a great guy. Don’t take this personally. I’m more angry at the judges and America’s ugly, patronizing butt.
ELIMINATED last week: Jasmine Murray
She was the first girl to go and I thought America got it right. Good job. Jasmine, you do have a good future ahead of you… now go study for your SAT’s.
ELIMINATED last week: Jorge Nunez
I’m just glad my wife doesn’t have to live in fear anymore. Jorge’s claymation self has been ousted and although he deserved to be in this longer than Scott and Michael, I guess it’s never too early to eliminate the singing robo-tron.
My not-so-bold prediction:
I predict Scott will unfairly survive another week
So there you have it! Your thoughts?